Submissiveness: A commandment or Instinct

 

Marriage is work; it's not all romance and fairy tales. While some may disagree with this viewpoint, I will dare to say that many that will disagree with this are singles. I don't mean to shatter any romantic illusions or fantasy about marriage, but it's crucial to have a realistic perspective.

Submissiveness is one of the most controversial topic of the discussion in religious circle or maybe in traditional-oriented society, unlike the western world where the word ‘wife’ is perceived as offensive among many other culture shock to be experienced in the modern western world. Across various religious faiths, there exist fundamental principles pertaining to marriage, along with guidelines governing the management and conduct of households. Predominantly, women are often encouraged to embrace qualities such as patience, devotion, and the highest virtue, which is often depicted as being submissive to the head of the household, typically the man. However, this raises a thought-provoking question: Are women inherently designed to be followers, while men are inherently designed to be leaders?

It's important to acknowledge that exceptions can be found within any rule or concept. While the traditional definition of marriage typically refers to the union between two individuals, (despite some advocacy for alternative forms like polyamory, we will adhere to the conventional understanding of marriage as a partnership between two people). Within the context of relationships, there often exists a dynamic where one partner takes on a more leading role, while the other partner adopts a more settling role. This theory has sparked debates, but in many enduring relationships, particularly within the confines of marriage, it becomes relatively evident who assumes which role. This dynamic, though perhaps less discernible during courtship or within friendships, is considered crucial in the context of marriage, often serving as a vital component in preventing marital discord or divorce.

In every relationship, there often exists a dynamic where one partner is seen as the settler, while the other assumes the role of the leader. It's crucial to recognize that relationships are highly individualistic, and not everyone will experience the same reactions or energy from you. Additionally, relationships evolve over time. As we age, gain wisdom, and become more exposed to life's experiences, the dynamics of our relationships naturally change and evolve as well.

Societal expectations often dictate that women should naturally assume the role of a settler, while men are presumed to be the leaders of the family, responsible for protection and provision. In a patriarchal society like ours, it's noticeable when a woman exhibits leadership qualities and confidence. Unfortunately, she may be labeled as arrogant, which is a disappointing response.

Even more disheartening is when women themselves criticize rather than support and encourage their peers. When a woman openly shares that she carries responsibilities within her household, she is sometimes seen as proud and disrespectful. Many feel compelled to keep their contributions hidden, celebrating their partners as the primary providers.

Celebrities can sometimes exacerbate this issue, but before we point fingers at those in the limelight, it's essential to consider our own surroundings. There are numerous women who boast about their husbands being the breadwinners, wonderful gift-givers, romantics, and excellent partners while enduring mistreatment.

Our society often sets this standard, leading many to pretend they have it all, particularly within their marriages, rather than speaking out about their pain and acknowledging their accomplishments. Women frequently downplay their achievements to appear humble while praising the "head of the house." They also tend to shoulder financial responsibilities and manage household duties and childcare, and what we get is the motivators and preachers talking about balancing. What is the key to achieving balance without experiencing mental strain? How can one achieve this equilibrium without losing their sense of self? Is it truly feasible to provide equal attention and care to all these aspects of life? The question arises because it appears that society has overlooked the fundamental principle that one can only provide what one possesses.

Submissiveness can be viewed as a natural instinct for those who play the role of followers, but it's worth noting that even leaders may have someone or something they follow. When someone perceives leadership qualities in another, it often indicates an allure or attraction that draws them to submit to that authority or guidance. Submissiveness can also be a conscious choice, particularly when it stems from a foundation of mutual respect. In situations where one partner lacks certain qualities or strengths, the other may choose to complement them through their own submissiveness, creating a balanced and harmonious dynamic in the relationship.

Men are egoistic, that’s what we’ve heard time and times again, but what about women? Where is our pride? Are you allowing the ego of Men match all over your Pride? While you are massaging that man’s ego, let him adore your pride. Let your submissiveness be instinctual, and live, don’t just exist.

Women! Raise your head high, let your shoulder be straight, praise yourself for that little that you achieved, do not let anyone undermine you, don’t allow to be talked down on! Shine through, because that’s the only way to raise stars. If your man is there and capable, praise him, massage is ego, but never let go of what you giving in, the effort and struggle must not be sweep under the carpet, roar it, because it is commendable and encouraging to all. You are an inspiration.